Dense dark middles

I wrote this awhile ago and promised I would post it.
I am not in an all together good place today. I am easily annoyed, easily depressed. I know it is just hormones so I try and push through. The flowers on my magnolia tree are beautiful and numerous. So are the dead leaves under the tree. Well not beautiful just numerous. The sky is wonderful. I look into the blue imagining myself into the sky, floating like a cloud. It is calming. I love the brilliant white edges of the big dense clouds. Perhaps that is how Christ’s light shines through us making the edges brilliant and white, drawing attention there rather than our dense and dark middles that make up our lives.
Jack, snot running down his nose, loves playing in the car. The only thing that makes him happier is Eric’s hockey skates.
Ah a gentle breeze brings the fragrance of the magnolia flowers and I am transformed into the sky and beauty of creation.
Olivia thinks she needs things to make her happy but she doesn’t think that today. We take turns being a magician and making a stick disappear. She is delighted each time. She picked up the stick at the home depot parking lot.
Ugh everything is shattered by the thought that we need to get the garage painted and the pain in my wrists remind me of my carpel tunnel syndrome. I can hardly hang on to my writing pen.
Ah Olivia skipping. So happy. Jack pushing Eric, who is sitting on Jack’s bike. We all laugh. The breeze again and the fragrance.
The sound of the breeze as it passes through the trees reminds me of a book I just finished where the main character refers to this sound as God passing by. That seems almost right. Maybe God hovering over, watching. Not just passing by. Making the edges bright and attractive.
Jack is chewing on the chain link fence. We think the fence is what is causing the dog’s nose to disappear. JACK STOP LICKING THE FENCE. Where did the calming sky go? Did God pass by? I really need for Him to linger.