Olivia has changed. I can not quiet say what it is exactly that has changed other than to generalize it and say she is growing up. Which she is. She can recognize letters and has started to sound out words. She can recognize numbers and if she is in the mood to do so she can do simple math. As we ride in the car she can name the different trees we pass. - Look momma a magnolia tree next to that yellow bug car. – She makes simple jokes and she is learning to rhyme. But it is more than just what she knows. She is being more responsible, she is helping out more, and she is trying to share more. She is almost five and it makes me happy and sad at the same time. I want her to grow up. I like watching her grow up but I want to go back again and see her when she was little and notice all the details. Pay closer attention to everything. Be more patient with her in all things. I can’t go back. I can only go forward and so I will try harder. I will watch closer. I will take more time to notice but I know it will not help. I know that all too soon she will be 7 and then 10 and then 13 and then 16 and then off to college and then …
But I can not go there. I can not go that far forward because then I will miss the now. So I will try and focus on the now. On Sweet Olivia who every night asks God to help her grow up to be a ballerina and a skate girl and a gymnast and a car repair person and an animal repair person and a soccer player and a person who listens and obeys.
Yes God and help me too to be a person who listens and obeys.
2 comments:
Oh, Sweet O. I remember when she was new-- Brand New, and my children spilled that container of m&m's (was it?) all over the floor of your hospital room.... They were so little then, and EG didn't even exist. It's awful and wonderful and awful, isn't it? Too soon, too soon.
And Nothing Can Be Done about it.
Sigh.
M & F R said . . .
Wow! How true what you say! But you will have memories, and they are everlasting (until you don't remember anymore--God, please spare us!). But each new stage is sweet to savor, too. Even when she starts to learn how to drive! YIKES!!!!!
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