I had a revelation this morning. (in a sense, I may have located time.) My revelation reveals my stupidity but I am going to share it with you anyhow. I am currently reading Job. I find Job inspiring and completely frightening at the same time. Kinda like a roller coaster. (Wow this is so cool, AHHHH I’m going to be flung right off this track and I CAN NOT FLY!!) Anyhow, I was thinking about being blameless. Really who is? When I suddenly realized that currently my thinking about God is all wrong. (yes Rebecca I can hear you laughing) I say that I know God is loving and merciful but I hold this part back, this part that thinks I still need to compete for His love, this part that wants Him to love me but knows that He can’t because I really am unlovable. And then I flashed back to Sunday where the minister was talking about true worship and true worship isn’t done in hope that you will be redeemed but because you already are. And splat is hit me. I am redeemed. I know I am. God already loves me. I do not have to perform for His love. I don't have to get His attention. Now this is all basic stuff and I have really always believed this but today it hit me anew. I am redeemed. God loves me and thus I can step out in confidence. What amazes me is that this came to me at a time when all I could think about is my sin. My failings. My short comings. They are great. They are many. (my book club recently read Cost of Discipleship by Bonheoffer. I challenge you to read that and not see how far you are missing the mark.) But the point for me was that I don’t need to get in. I am already in (contrary to whatever Bonheoffer may say) I am Redeemed. I have that assurance. What I am doing instead is being sanctified. I am learning the ropes and really it is ok to fail. I just have to keep trying. And I try out of love for God not so that He will love me because as I have already said – He already does. So my mantra for today is – I am Redeemed. And while I totally understand that today I am sure I will lose my grip on it in a mere few days if not hours and that is why I have posted it here. To remind myself.
Redeemed, how I love to proclaim it!
Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed through His infinite mercy,
His child and forever I am.
Redeemed, redeemed,Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb;
Redeemed, redeemed,His child and forever I am.
(Words by Fanny J. Crosby)
3 comments:
Hey Beth--
thanks for yet another encouraging post! I'm reading Job right now too (how freaky is that?), and I agree that it's tough (at least for me) to remember that I'm blameless and already moving past that part (thanks to God alone) onto sanctification. It is really amazing to me when I think about how very much God loves us...thanks for the reminder.
No, I am not laughing at you. This is a wonderful post. Thanks for writing it down for all of us.
I echo Rebecca. Thank you for sharing this, Beth. I need this realization daily, and yet when do I really KNOW it? So glad you did last week!
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