Grandma Ruth - spare yourself and don't read this post

Things I probably shouldn’t let my three year old son do:

Help himself to the bag of doughnut holes
Let him pour his own juice
Attempt to jump from the top of the bunk ladder especially when the ceiling fan is on
Coerce me into getting him a Sponge Bob potty seat – even though I can not imagine a better Sponge Bob item to own!
Chase his sister around the house with his light saber drawn (no I am not using a euphemism)
Play with the shampoo bottle in the tub – especially when it is ½ full…
Let him drink the bath water once he has “spilled” that ½ into the tub
Let him climb up the chain link fence so he can throw himself on to the yard waste container and then scoot over to the garbage can where he perches like a king on his throne
Let him play outside at all – because this is what happens: He will be innocently playing when in the distance a fire engine siren goes off, so faint that I, his mother, do not even take note of it. I realize that Jack is no longer in the yard but has taken off on a hunt of some sort. I find him walking along the edge of the neighbor’s yard and yell out for him to come back, he simply turns, smiles, points and yells something incoherent. When I pick up the pace to catch him, he simple steps up his own pace to continue on the hunt. I convince his sister to come out of the back yard and chase after him with me because with two we have a better chance of trapping him. When I finally turn the corner, I see Olivia trying to drag Jack back home by pulling on the collar of his shirt. I am not close enough yet to help out and so Jack pushes Olivia away – she gives up at the least resistance- and she screams while Jack gleefully runs out into the empty street to escape to the “other side.” This was his mistake! Because in so doing, I can cut him off at the pass and nab him, which I do. This interrupts Olivia’s concentration on her crying and causes her to run across to the “other side” as well and once again grab on to Jack. I ask Jack where he was going and he informs me that he was going after the fire truck and my mind flashes back to a faint siren I heard moments ago. Olivia then instructs Jack that he should never leave the sight of his parent. I follow up with some of my own words of wisdom and we all head back home. This has happened to me twice now. Note to self… must pay more attention to faint siren noises.