Sare (sorry)

It starts with comfort
And then asks – How do you know this comfort?
How?
Because of my sin.
Because of my wanting hoping trying
Failing
You can’t know comfort unless you know uncomfortable
And you can’t know uncomfortable unless you know comfort

She hands me a card
Blue grey construction paper folded in half with stickers
I am busy with Jack
Look Mommy.. for you.
I take it from her and admire it
Nice stickers – Jack come back here please
No read it!
All seriousness
Ok
I forget Jack
Open the card
Mommy
I am sare when I said you were a bad mommy.
My mind flashes back
Tic tac toe
Explaining strategy
Angrily thrown pencil
Frustration
I hold her
Hug her
Tell her it is ok
I understand
She replies Sometimes it is just hard
Yes sometimes (a lot of the time) it is.