we had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun

We all have reference points for our lives. Moments we turn to as the best or worst moments of our lives or the proudest or most embarrassing moments of our lives. (I have several embarrassing moments which I refer to as groaning moments because they sneak up on me in a flash as I am driving or shopping or enjoying a sunset and make me audible groan) Or moments we think of when we envision what something should be like; something that we had once and keep trying to get back. As in what should a family vacation look like? To me a really great family vacation would involve being squeezed in a car with too many siblings, driving for a long period of time to arrive at a cottage on the lake and then spending what seemed like forever taking boat rides, fishing off a pier and swimming in the lake. This is the ideal because my family only took one vacation together when I was a kid and cottage on the lake was it. And every vacation we have tried to take as a family, now that we are grown up, always revolves around a cottage on a lake.
For a long time I have been searching for the ideal summer holiday down here in NC. I have had some great summer holidays here but none of them ever measured up to the ideal, to my reference point for great holiday celebrations. What is the ideal? The ideal includes great food, family, fun and games, catching fireflies, being up past bedtime and an element I would have described as magic when I was young but understand to be joy as an adult. The reference point is just a moment in my mind when I was seven or so. My cousins were visiting from GR. Their dad told these great stories about when he was a kid, and I can remember eating watermelon and later ice cream. And just as it was getting dark I, my older sisters and our one of our girl cousins ran around the back yard catching fireflies. I was thrilled for many reasons not the least being that my older sisters included me in their play. And I can see myself running under the clothesline in the back yard, being careful not to run into the clothesline pole in the dark, chasing after a firefly, laughing as the moon lighted the way and the first stars broke through the dark sky and thinking that this moment is the best moment ever. When the evening ended we ran after my uncle’s car, trying to out run it to the end of the block and then we waved good bye. I was sad to see them go and yet I was happy because it had been a great day.
The problem with the reference point is that it comes from when I was very young. Something I am no more but I still believe I can recapture that joy in a holiday night and I am eager for my children to experience it as well.
I think we all, my children and I and even Eric, captured that joy this past Memorial day. We had a simple gathering at Rebecca’s house. As soon as we arrived our children went off with their children and they played and played and played. There were few interruptions which left us to talk, prepare food, talk, drink beer and margaritas and talk outside and enjoy the cooling evening with no mosquitoes. There was no hurry to the evening. No being worn out by squabbling. Just relaxation. And then magnificent food – grilled corn, thick burgers and wonderful Rebecca salads – she makes the best salads EVER. Food was followed by a walk to check on the blue bird houses and we encountered the first fireflies of the year. When we arrived back at the house, we had yet another celebration for Olivia’s b-day because Rebecca and her whole family are just so kind. And then the evening ended with a failed attempt to catch fireflies, a slide show of Everett at the race track in Charlotte watching NASCAR and a rousing rendition of the original song – Can little boo boos kill you? At least I think that was the title.
It was a late night. Our kids were not in bed until after 10:00. Most nights, such a late bed time would perturb me or at least agitate me slightly but this night I could have cared less because as Olivia climbed into bed she said – Momma I love holiday days like this because it was a bestest day.
And as I said prayers with Jack, he kept up a constant chatter about Everett (whom he calls Emma Grace. He refers to all of the children as Emma Grace.) and race cars. He curled up with his blankets and continued talking about race cars until he fell asleep.
It was a near perfect evening. Oh of course there were mishaps and little annoyances but those things were out of focus, off to the side. Mostly, at least for my family anyhow, there was just an illumination of joy. There was magic and now sadness because it ended and who knows when we may ever get it again?